Of Salty Peas And Kool Aid
by TwinGleeks101
Summary: Little drabbles focusing on Bumper and Fat Amy's relationship throughout and past the events of 'Pitch Perfect 2'. Chapter 8:Surprise, motherfucker!
1. Build a Bear

**Hi there! We're new writers when it comes to Pitch Perfect and seeing as we saw the second one yesterday we thought we'd have a go at it! It's based on the build a bear scene between Bumper and Fat Amy so here you go people! Let us know how it is! Peace Out TG101 :-D x**

"Amy...Amy," Bumper mumbled into his girlfriend's ear, slowly kissing her neck, running his teeth along the plump skin.

"What?" she mumbled back, still half asleep. Usually she couldn't resist Bumper working his teeth along her body but it was nine in the morning and she was sleeping. "Bump, babe, I'm still asleep. You don't want to wake the dragon. Steve Irwin personally gave me crocodile wrangling lessons and you don't want me to practice them on you."

Bumper couldn't help but laugh. Fat Amy and the other Bellas had gotten together to have their weekly Netflix marathon the night before and after a vote, it was decided 'Game Of Thrones' would be the next show to watch. Whilst Amy was sceptical at first, she found she enjoyed the show, even if it was a tad gory in places for her liking.

Sighing, he shuffled around slightly so that he was spooning against her, his legs entwined with hers.

"Bump, I can feel your morning wood," Fat Amy said bluntly, her eyes still closed. Yawning, she snuggled down into the covers more, her butt grinding on her boyfriend's penis, getting him incredibly confused but also turned on.

"So you're too tired for morning sex and yet you will willingly turn me on?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "Are you sure you don't want a taste of my bratwurst? Extra spicy."

Fat Amy turned around. "Do you really think talking about food turns me on?" she asked, smiling as Bumper gave her the puppy dog eyes, whimpering lightly. "Well there, you're wrong."She stood up and headed towards the kitchen where she opened the fridge and took out what she was searching for. As she came back, Bumper's eyes widened as she brandished a can of whipped cream.

"However, I am up to using food," she added brightly as she advanced towards him, taking the lid off. Bumper knew that look in her eyes all too well. Right now, she was in sexual predator mode and nothing would snap her out of it.

Now on the bed, she positioned herself so that she was top of him and squirted the whipped cream onto his face, laughing wildly. "That's what you get for waking me up," she smiled sweetly, winking.

"Does the wink mean we can have sex?" he asked, wiping the cream from his face and licking it off his hand.

"What are you blind? Course not!" the blonde insisted, winking again. "I don't want to have sex with you in any manner whatsoever, especially after you woke me up so rudely."

"Okay, I am really confused right now."

Amy rolled her eyes before grabbing Bumper's shirt and leaning in for a kiss, her lips pressing onto his. She heard him exhale, his breath intermingling with hers which in turn caused a slight whimper to come out of her mouth.

"Later on we'll have a little rendevous between me and you. I know what you're thinking, why is your Australian girlfriend suddenly speaking Spanish? Because I'm bilingual that's why. Chinese when ordering take out and I also specialise in Klingon and Elvish."

* * *

Bumper held Amy's hand and smiled as she squeezed it. He was going to surprise her by going to the Build a Bear workshop and getting bears of himself and his girlfriend; something he'd been wanting to do since he asked her out with posh peas and Kool Aid a few months ago.

"Bumper, where are you taking me? You know we have practice soon, right?" she asked warily.

"Well, you said you wanted to do Build a Bears so, I thought it would only make sense _if_ I take you to a Build a Bear," Bumper explained, breaking out into a grin as he registered the surprise on her face. As they entered the store, they made their way over to the floppy bears.

"It's quite depressing isn't it? We're stuffing innocent corpses with fluff until it's to our desired choice. It's like getting a turkey and stuffing it till it explodes," Amy mumbled, looking at the toy dogs on offer.

"Hey, turkey is delicious and you know it," Bumper quipped, pointing a finger at her.

Fat Amy merely shrugged as she went to look at other plushes the store had available. "Hey Bumper, what about this?" she called, holding up a Toothless. "See it looks like you! Y'know if you were a black dragon with wings and blasted plasma balls at your father."

Bumper could feel himself grin. His girlfriend was just too darn adorable! "I was thinking more of the bears. Mine would be a little too big and when you're gone I'll look at her and not feel as lonely."

"Oh, but you don't need to feel lonely, Bump. That's what your hand is for," Amy cooed, kissing his cheek and laughing as he turned a dusky pink colour. "I'm going to get this elephant," she decided.

"Because I've got a big trunk?" Bumper suggested wiggling his eyebrows.

"No, it's because back in Australia there was a programme about an elephant called Bump. We had some weird shows...including one where a boy befriends a water spirit in order to win a urinating competition."

Bumper nodded. "Okay, then. I am going to go over there to the stuffing machine and get this little guy fluffed up." he said, holding up a purple bear with green eyes. "After this, why don't we go back to campus, get drunk and then watch a movie? Or y'know, we could do something different, if you want."

"Turd butt! Not in front of the little people!" Fat Amy hissed, elbowing him in the ribs slightly harder than intended, making him yelp in pain. Several little kids looked up and giggled before running towards the bath and hairdrying station.

"Dude!" he squeaked, wincing as he breathed in. "You really don't know how strong you are, y'know that?"

"I try," she responded nonchalantly as she walked over to the stuffing machine.

Following in pursuit, Bumper gave the assistant the unstuffed bear, to which she then put it on the nozzle and asked how he would like it stuffed. "Extra fat. Just like my girlfriend," he said, giving Fat Amy a wink.

The assistant frowned a little at what she had just been told but merely shrugged it off as she got the machine to work. To be honest, she'd heard weirder things, especially with the grown men buying Rainbow Dash or Fluttershy. "How's this?" she asked a couple of minutes later. "Too floppy or more fluff?"

"Hmm...a bit more fluff," Bumper said, interlocking his hand into Fat Amy's. Another minute later, he had the bear in his hands and couldn't help but grin goofily. Okay, getting a bear from here would seem a little childish but it would help him, especially when they were apart.

His mind flashed back to when he properly asked her to be his girlfriend, how she said no before an awkward departure only for Lily to catch them a week later in the Bellas' bathroom with his pants around his ankles and Fat Amy's fist wrapped around his dick. As far as they knew, she hadn't told anyone or if she had, then it wasn't mentioned. Come to think of it, Cynthia Rose did make a few comments the morning after though.

"...and here's yours, ma'am," the assistant smiled, handing Fat Amy the now over stuffed elephant. Fat Amy squealed in delight and gave the creature a hug. "Right, you're in need of some butt confidence..."

"Not in here!" Bumper laughed, leading her towards the clothes. "Come on, let's get them dressed."

* * *

Later that night, Fat Amy smiled as she bit into a piping hot microwave burrito, spitting it out as it burned her lip. "Shit," she swore, dabbing at her lip cautiously."They always make these things too hot," she mumbled as she took another bite.

"Don't those things fuel your hate fire?" Bumper asked, looking at her quizzically, taking a tentative bite of his own burrito.

"Yeah but they're so delicious but not as good as fairy bread. If you had fairy bread at your party, you were considered better than Queen Elizabeth."

"Fairy bread?"

She sighed, getting up from her position. "If you want to know how to be as awesome as me, you've got to start with fairy bread. Come on Turd Butt, let's vertical run to the kitchen."


	2. Aca - children, sort of?

**Happy birthday to thee, happy birthday to thee! Judging by what I just said, you'd guess it was our birthday and you guessed correctly! Nineteen years to the day in fact! What made this year memorable is not what we did nor the presents for that matter but rather what happened throughout the course of the day. Okay, so what did happen to make it that way? Well, for starters, I woke Georgia up by pulling a wrestling move and jumping on top of her much to her horror and our mum's amusement and then it was basically college until this evening where we went to Frankie and Bennys, which is like an Italian/ American restaurant. We'd never been before so we said 'why not?' and what happened there was awesome! The waitress we had was Irish and she actually said 'potato' and 'Top o' the morning, to ye!', we had these really nice ice cream sundaes with a candle in it as well as an obvious birthday song, and a bunch of Dutch motor bikers sang 'Happy birthday' to Georgia because she was holding a balloon. There's a Harley Davidson event at the showground near us and it's the first time England have had it in twenty seven years so there were a lot of bikes and bikers. One group reminded us of the thugs from 'Tangled'. As for what we got, it actually wasn't that much considering other years, but as usual, it's enough for us. We pretty much got the same stuff but slight differences. We both got a shirt (I got Toothless on the Batman logo and Georgia got Totoro), we both got £50 and we both got three funko pops. Me getting Marie Laveau, Russell from 'Up' and Fiona Goode and Georgia getting Beast, La Muerte from 'The Book Of Life' and also Russell from 'Up'. The only major thing we got different is that Georgia got an 'Up' Disney pin and I got a fancy pair of headphones. Also, we got a phone each a few months ago as an early present and mum has paid for a trip to Alton Towers with college, but that ain't until next month. Peace Out! TG101 :-D x**

"Trust me babe, you do _not_ want to be pregnant," Beca huffed, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "I mean, I must have sent Jesse out for Slurpee and Nilla wafers like three times this week," she emphasised, taking a bite out of the wafer, nodding in appreciation."Mm, these are good."

Fat Amy nodded in agreement, sighing a little. She couldn't help but feel slightly jealous of the fact that Beca was pregnant and engaged, whereas she and Bumper had only just begun to put up with each other enough to move in together.

"You okay?" Beca asked in concern, her mouth full of wafer.

"Yeah," Amy responded, wiping her eye with the back of her hand. "Hey Becs, do you sometimes feel like...you're not good enough? If you get me? I mean I know I'm good enough and Bumper reassures me I am but sometimes it's sort of like...what if he thinks I'm too fat? What if he loves someone else, what if..."

"What if it's all in your head and he loves you for you? You need some confidence,girl!" Beca reassured, rubbing her stomach."Here. Have some preggers confidence," she stated, wiping the hand that was on her stomach onto the Australian's face.

"Thanks. How is the little sprog anyway? I'm talking about Jesse and not the baby."

"Uh, he's good, beyond excited he's gonna have a son. I swear though, if he comes up with a weird baby name like Judd again, I'm gonna hit him," Beca shrugged, waving to Emily, who came in, looking slightly dishevelled.

"Hey, guys," she smiled slightly breathlessly, reaching into the fridge.

As her back was turned, Amy motioned her eyes towards Emily and then mimed a blow job, to which Beca nodded in agreement.

Since the majority of the Barden Bellas had boyfriends and in some cases, girlfriends, the house was rife with sexual activity and as long as they kept to their own bed and disposed of any condoms properly, then there really wasn't a problem. They even got rid of the rule stating that if any of them should sleep with a Trebletone, then their vocal chords would be ripped out by wolves.

Emily was now a senior and was still with Benji, who now had an internship with George Lucas' company as a trainee whilst doing illusion at parties and conferences on the side. It had been three years since Beca and Amy had graduated and although they went their separate ways, they still met up at the Bella house at least once every other month.

"So, how's pregnancy treating you, then?" the senior asked as she sat down with a snack she pulled out of the fridge. As she took a bite, she closed her eyes in bliss and checked her phone. "Ugh, that's the third time my Mom's texted me asking when Benji's gonna come over. She absolutely adores him!" she explained, smiling as her boyfriend sat down.

"Is that your Mom again?"Benji asked allowing his forehead to be kissed. "If I didn't know any better, I'd swear she was trying to fatten me up,"

Emily simply shrugged. "You can't blame her Benj. For eighteen years, she's only had to cook for herself and me so when she gets to cook for someone else, it's a welcome opportunity."

As the couple carried on talking, Beca winced as she felt the baby move, jamming his foot into her ribcage. Looking up, she smiled as she saw Jesse sashaying his way towards her, mouthing the Katy Perry song which was now playing. "Hey!" he smiled, giving her a light kiss. "Did you know how good these are?" he asked, holding up the bag of Nilla wafers.

"Yes but you keep on stealing them," Beca laughed. "Your son is awake, by the way," she added, laughing again as he dropped the wafers and knelt down so that he was level with her stomach. "And weirdly enough it's only when you're playing your goofy movies that he sleeps."

"Hey, Jaws was epic! So was the Goonies and ET," Jesse defended, his mouth breaking out into a wide smile as he felt a kick. "Hey there, Luke!" he cooed, rubbing his fiancée's belly.

Benji shot the couple a glance in mid makeout. "You're calling the kid Luke?"

Beca shrugged. "It's the only one we can agree on. I like it and Jesse's happy because it's a nerd name."

"Hey there nerds, mind if I join?" Bumper asked giving Fat Amy a loving kiss. "Mm, you taste like failure at Monopoly. And boobs. But mainly Monopoly,"

"Hello to you, too," Fat Amy muttered dryly, smirking and closing her eyes at the contact. "Wait a minute, I taste like failure Monopoly?" she asked, suddenly opening her eyes as she realised what her boyfriend had said.

"And boobs," Jesse pointed out, earning a smack upside the head from Beca."Hey!" he protested, rubbing the spot where her hand made contact. "Babe..."

Beca smiled smugly, raising her eyebrows. "Talk shit, get hit. Okay kid, just give me a break! Momma's tired of you kicking me all the time!" she mumbled, yawning.

* * *

Later that night Fat Amy shrugged on an oversized shirt of Bumper's and his Adventure Time boxer shorts. Well, with Bumper it was oversized but with Fat Amy, it was rather snug - same with the shorts. She didn't mind too much though.

"Earth to Fat Amy, earth to Fat Amy, do you come in, Amy?" Bumper called, knocking on their bedroom door. "Earth to Amy, Bumper here do you read me?"

Amy sighed, shaking her head. "Earth to Bumper, I read you."She smiled as she saw her boyfriend come into their bedroom and lied down next to her, giving her boob a loving squeeze."You love my boobs don't you?" she asked, kissing his head.

"Uhuh. Hey babe, there's something I want to ask you. If that's okay?"

"Yeah?" Amy asked, hugging him a little tighter. "If it's about the gummi ring you left in the kitchen with that plan, then yeah, why not?"

"Wait...what?"

Fat Amy nodded enthusiastically, smirking at his reaction. "Might as well. I mean, there's not many fish in the sea willing to take me as a bite," she admitted with a shrug. "Together we'll be an unstoppable force! Like Sharknado or Zombeavers."

"Pretty sure they were movies."

"Like Yoko and John!"

"He was assassinated."

"Kermit and Miss Piggy?"

"Bingo."


	3. How Amy got Bumper's number

**Hey there guys! This is basically how Fat Amy managed to get Bumper's number in the first movie! Nothing much as happened in JOE (jolly old England) except for the fact I (Georgia) have a new tattoo :) It's gorgeous and it's basically a Mickey Mouse balloon with the words Keep Moving Forward on my foot because they are the things which keep moving me forward. It's getting to the end of college and I've still got a few assignments left alongside Merits and Distinctions but I'm not as panicked as I was a month ago so that's good! It's half term and besides Alton Towers/Mum's birthday on the 19th of June we have got nothing planned. No impromptu holidays, no parties, no other stuff. Peace Out! TG101 :-D x**

Fat Amy looked at Bumper sceptically. "Are you even sure that's a good idea?" she asked, a questioning look on her face.

Bumper shrugged. "You're single, I'm single, and it only makes sense. And besides, I know girls like you, you can't keep your hands off of these guns," he smirked, flexing his arm. "You just want to ride the Bump mobile. All. Night. Long. _Bumper, oh please Bumper, fuck me harder, Bumper! Please, oh, Bumper_!" he chirped mockingly, grinning.

Fat Amy scoffed. "I do _not_ sound like that," she emphasised. "Like I said before, you're no panty dropper yourself."

"Wanna bet?"

* * *

How the hell did she get in this situation? Oh yeah he sweet talked her with promises of domination, kisses and the best night of her life. Admittedly she was just there for a quick fuck, there weren't any emotional feelings involved whatsoever.

At least none she had felt. Bumper on the other hand had gone about it differently. He had hoped tonight would have sparked Fat Amy's liking for him and although he mocked her and the Barden Bellas pretty much constantly, he was secretly infatuated with the Australian woman and wanted nothing more than to be more than friends.

"Mmm...just like that," Amy sighed, squirming as he dug his thumbs into her hips, his hands making his way to her butt. As he squeezed her ass, he moaned a little as he felt himself become hard.

Fat Amy felt this and raised an eyebrow. On one hand, she shouldn't be surprised because they were going to have sex and it was required, but on the other, she wasn't exactly the skinniest girl around and not everyone liked that. "Really? That quick?"

Bumper shrugged nonchalantly, smirking. "It's been a while," he mumbled, sucking in his breath as Amy shimmied her hand past the waistband of his jeans, her fingers dancing eagerly along the clothed length.

"Yeah?" Amy asked as she unzipped his jeans and pulled down his boxers, finally releasing his hard on. She couldn't help but widen her eyes. Guess the myth regarding height wasn't true after all.

Slowly she took off his shirt and couldn't help but feel incredibly turned on. He wasn't as chubby as she thought he would be, but it was evident he liked his doritos and wouldn't be gaining a six pack any time soon. Unless it was beer.

"You okay?" Bumper whispered, his teeth lightly grazing the top of her ear. As hard and evil he seemed on the outside, he still liked to make sure his girls were treated with the respect that his Grandma had taught him.

Fat Amy nodded. "Yeah," she responded breathlessly, closing her eyes as he began to touch her through her bra, his fingers working magic against her nipples, twisting and pinching them ever so slightly as to make them incredibly tender.

Bumper grinned as he saw a pink blush spread across her chest and neck. At the moment, she was right where he wanted her to be and judging by past experiences, it wouldn't be long before she came. Unhooking her bra, he allowed her breasts to fall before he planted a kiss on each of them, humming as he did so. The vibrations of his melody coursed through Amy making her moan, her heart beating wildly.

Fat Amy toyed with her breasts, licking her lips,hoping that it would turn Bumper on even more. It worked for her exes and Chris Hemsworth, so why shouldn't it work here?

But Bumper wasn't an ex, he was just a fuck buddy. Right? Shaking the thought out of her head, she put her hair up in her signature Orthodox Jew ponytail, allowing Bumper to shimmy her jeans off her legs.

Bumper smiled as he saw the increasingly expanding dark patch against her purple panties. Straddling her, he took off the garment with a quick work of the thumbs and began to kiss, nibble and suck her voluptuous body, starting at the neck.

"Oh..." she sighed, closing her eyes in bliss. "R - right there."

Bumper nodded, kissing her deeper. It was at that point he had an idea that could either make or break his chance with Fat Amy and instead of hesitating, he just went for it.

Fat Amy noticed this and frowned a little. "Bumper, what are you-" she started to ask, only to get cut off by the flicker of tongue against her clit.

Oh, sweet babies. He was down there. Like, _down there_ down there. Like how Australia was down under. Still trying to think of what to make of it, Bumper began to hum, the vibrations sending sweet waves throughout her body.

If that didn't turn her on, Bumper didn't know what would. Judging by the gasps and moans that were emitting from her mouth, he could sense that she didn't mind too much.

Meanwhile, Fat Amy was having the time of her life. Being eaten out was always a fantasy of hers and whilst she had hinted at it many times before, the hint wasn't taken and she was left pleasuring the guy as opposed to the other way around. Biting her lip, she felt an orgasm build up inside of her and as Bumper hummed, licked and nibbled she felt it come ever closer.

As much as he enjoyed receiving, nothing turned him on more than watching girls squirm, knowing he was the one who reduced them to a bundle of nerves. He knew he had a skilled mouth and instead of becoming a gigolo or a pimp, he joined the Treble Makers whilst putting his talent to good use every now and then.

"Bumper...I - I'm close," Amy mumbled incoherently her chest heaving as she took in more air. Any moment now, the buzzing sensation that was currently collecting would spill over and reach her brain, engulfing her body in a rush of pleasure and endorphins that would be over in a matter of seconds.

Looking up, Bumper clamped his lips around the bundle of nerves and began to suck lightly, his tongue lapping at her inner walls.

"Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh..."

The woman's eyes rolled in the back of her head and a deep guttural growl emitted from the back of her throat as she came, her vaginal muscles clamping around Bumper's tongue.

As soon as she came down from her high, Bumper grabbed a condom from the dresser next to the bed, his hands fumbling.

"Here, let me," Fat Amy sighed breathlessly, undoing the packet and unrolling the rubber object, before placing it on Bumper's dick. Lying him down on his back, Amy positioned herself over his manhood and lowered herself down, making sure her breasts bounced.

As she thrusted down for the second time, Bumper bucked his hips upwards and as soon as he did that, there was an audible crack as both hips met.

* * *

 _2 days later_

"...so what you're saying is that you actually broke his dick?" Beca asked, laughing. "Oh my God, really?"

Fat Amy nodded. "Yeah, I don't think he was ready to be ridden like a rodeo bull. Guess this bitch is too hot for him to handle," she added brightly, licking her finger and applying it to her skin with a hiss.

"Is he okay though? I mean, a broken dick is pretty serious. Doesn't that involve surgery?"

Fat Amy nodded again, this time taking a sip of her drink. "He's fine. Still a bit loopy from the pain meds, though, he thought he was Bruce Wayne at one point."

Beca snorted with laughter again. "Seriously?! Oh my God, please tell me you've got it on video."

Fat Amy grinned. "I figured it would be better to do one extra,"

The other Barden Bella nodded in thought. "Yeah? And what's that?"

"You don't know how to upload to You Tube, do you?"


	4. Shark Week

**Hey y'all! So, this is it. The big time. In four weeks, we would have finished our college education and be off for the summer, which means work, work, work, work, work, work, work. If we don't get into the universities we want, it's goodbye first rate education, hello University of Lincoln. What are we doing this summer? As far as we know, nowt. No holidays, no driving and no parties. Because of this, this summer will most likely consist of going to the cinema, catching up on television shows, getting ready for uni and maybe the odd day out but it's not guaranteed. Basically, what we did this half term but extend it by fourteen weeks. So, this should be fun. Peace Out! TG101 :-D x**

"...I swear if y'all even _think_ of coming into my room without so much as a knock, I will rip your heads off," Cynthia Rose shouted, slamming the door to her bedroom.

Bumper couldn't help but feel somewhat scared. All around him, there was chaos. Come to think of it, he should be used to this by now seeing as how he practically lived at the house since him and Fat Amy became a couple. If they weren't bitching and arguing with each other, then they were either trying to fuck him or crying over the fact that someone ate the last Poptart.

It was the week that all the Barden Bellas dreaded; Shark Week. Usually making an appearance towards the end of the week before, Shark Week flipped the whole house upside down and since they had been living together for near enough three years, it wasn't surprising that they were pretty much in sync with one another, give or take three days.

They even had a Shark Week cupboard that was usually well stocked with several treats of their choice, but if _anyone_ was to touch Fat Amy's tim tams, they were going to feel her wrath.

* * *

Beca groaned in frustration as she found she couldn't orgasm. When it came to this time of the month, she would find herself constantly horny and actually found herself resorting to porn - something she saved for a last resort. Sighing, she slammed her laptop and checked her phone to find she had one new message.

 _"Coming over soon - want anything? J xx"_

 _"Some cheetos and a hot chocolate with peppermint B xx"_

 _"Shark week? J xx"_

 _"Yeah. C U later babe xxx"_

At least Jesse would be able to cheer her up. Not only did he have food, but he also had a penis, which was more than enough for Beca. Sighing, she slipped on Jesse's hoodie he left last time he was here and rolled over to fall asleep until he came. Sleep was good.

* * *

When it came to that inevitable time of the month, each of the Bellas were different. Chloe was known to crave junk food and would spend fifty dollars on Domino's, only to eat it all in one sitting and regret her choice in the morning, Cynthia Rose would be way more catty than usual, Fat Amy went into hibernation mode and if Beca wasn't fucking Jesse, then she was using a fake penis modelled after his own appendage.

"Hey girls!" Jesse sang as he walked in, holding up two Walmart bags. "I've brought food! Cheetos for Beca, pink wafers for Lily, nachos and Pop tarts for Chloe, Goldfish for Fat Amy, Fruit Loops for Emily and for Cynthia Rose..." he trailed off, rootling around in the bag, before pulling out two boxes. "Cookie dough bites," he revealed, handing them over.

This seemed to cheer her up, as she ripped open the box and popped a handful into her mouth, moaning in ecstasy as she chewed. "God, these taste so good," she mumbled through a mouth of chocolate.

"I've also bought tylenol and some peach tea for you all." Jesse said, pouring a cup for his girlfriend.

"Thanks Jesse you're the best!" Chloe said, giving the Treble Maker a light hug. "Move out of the way girls, this ginger has a date with some Pop tarts and a toaster oven!"

"I try," he shrugged, sitting down next to Beca and kissing her temple. "Hey," he whispered into her ear. "How're you coping?" As she pulled a face Jesse let out a laugh. "Really? I didn't think it'd be that bad!"

Beca scoffed. "Okay then, imagine if you awoke one morning to find your hormones completely out of whack,blood coming out of your penis and you're really upset because you WANT sex but you don't want to look like Carrietta White!"

"I don't think it'd be too bad," he admitted with a shrug.

Beca smiled smugly. She knew he was going to say something like that so she had a comeback. "Whilst Joffrey Baratheon is stabbing your junk."

There was a chorus of 'Oooh' as the Bellas and Jesse visibly winced. "Really?"

Beca nodded "Yep. He's like the literal meaning of a period. Well, him and Umbridge."

* * *

Bumper cuddled up to his girlfriend to make sure things were okay. He hated seeing her in pain but it couldn't be helped, it was natural. Switching on his phone, he shuffled his playlist to "Shark Week" and pressed play, much to the confusion of Fat Amy.

"Bump, what are you doing?" she grunted, shuffling further away from him, only to bring him closer.

"What does it look like?" he responded, wrapping his arms around her. "I'm big spoon and you're little spoon and together we're a force unstoppable. Plus you're in pain and you're an idiot whilst cranky," he said, kissing her forehead.

Usually, she would find Bumper's annoying awkwardness endearing but since blood was pouring out of her lady parts, she didn't have time for anyone's shit."You're lucky I actually choose to put up with you," she grunted, closing her eyes and smiling as he kissed her again.

* * *

Meanwhile in the next room, Beca was getting annoyed. Okay, so she _finally_ had a real life penis as opposed to a fake one that vibrated at the push of a button, but now Jesse was tormenting her by making her wait.

"Okay Jesse, cut the crap. I get it, I'm cute when angry," she huffed, eyeing his boner.

"Damn right you are," he drawled, winking as he wrapped a fist around his length. "Oh Jesse, I want you, I need you, oh baby, oh baby," he quipped mockingly, relishing in the fact that he was the one who was making her this way.

"Jesse!" Beca whined needingly. "Seriously Jess, if I don't feel your penis inside my vagina in the next five seconds, I'll have no choice but to rip it off," she growled, opening her legs. Realising what she had done, she blushed, closing her legs. "I'm sorry...it's just...you're so intimidating and sexy!"

Jesse merely grinned, winking at her."You got that right. Listen babe, I know you want to but I really don't think we should risk it, do you?" he offered kindly, sitting down, his boner springing up to his stomach.

Beca shook her head, tears in her eyes. "You're right," she shrugged, still glancing down at the erection. Her eyes twinkled as she had an idea. Moving her hand towards his manhood, Jesse let his head fall back on the pillow as his girlfriend loosely began to stroke it, applying both pressure and coolness as she licked the head.

"Mmngh," she sighed, blowing on the tip, grinning as it beaded with pre cum. "Oh, you are more than ready, aren't you?" she purred lowly, kissing the skin which was deepening in colour. As she moved her head over the head of his cock, she let out a hum, sending electricity up Jesse's spine.

"Hey Beca, have you seen..." Fat Amy started to question, opening the door.

"GET OUT!"


	5. Morning Cuddles

**Hey there guys! We're really nearing the end of our course at college so we're pre-tty busy at the moment :c I (Georgia) have about four assignments altogether or something like that? Nothing really special is happening as of yet apart from Alton Towers on Friday and we've got nothing planned for the summer. However yesterday (13.6.15) we DID go and see Jurassic World in 3D! It was freakin' awesome! What happened was that we needed to go to town anyway for Mum's birthday presents and there was this waterfront festival which had displays and rides and all sorts there. When we were at the waterfront festival we got told to look in the BHS bag Dad was carrying and lo and behold there were four bags of popcorn! It was awesome! Peace Out! TG101 :-D x**

Fat Amy opened her eyes slowly, remembering the events of the day before, singing _We Belong_ to Bumper, practically attacking his lips when she reached dry land, his fingers scrabbling for her bra strap, the sound of skin smacking on skin, the saltiness of the sweat intermingling with the sweet, sweet taste of his swollen mouth.

Smiling to herself, she could sense there was another being in the bed, this one heavy and alive, taking deep shuddering breaths as the body slept on, grunting as it turned over, its arm draping across her chest with a loud 'slap'.

Amy winced as the arm made contact with her skin. For someone so delicate in bed, he certainly knew how to throw his weight around.

Bumper must have sensed this as he woke up with an unattractive snort. Blinking sleepily, he nodded to the Australian woman, before burying his face back into the pillow, sighing a little as he did so, hugging her close like a small child with a teddy bear.

Amy wriggled uncomfortably, trying to get out of his vice like grip. She wasn't too keen on being hugged extremely tightly, even by her own partners and family members, it just felt too claustrophobic and tight. It was almost as bad as when she encountered a snake when she was five and almost got off the worse for wear.

"Bumper, you're crushing me again," she mumbled, slapping his arm lightly, causing him to loosen a grip with yet another contented sigh."Thanks," she smiled, kissing his temple. Snuggling down, she found herself playing with his hair, fiddling with the ends, making him protest vocally.

"No," he whined, keeping his eyes closed. "Don't like it."

He pouted, and wriggled about like a three year old, making Amy laugh. "Come on, Bumps. I know you enjoy this," she murmured, turning over so that both were face to face.

"Boop," Bumper grinned, pressing her nose. He kissed her neck quickly, making little noises as he nibbled. "Om nom nom nom."

"Bumper what're you doing?" Amy asked, rolling her shoulder to get him off. "That's just weird."

"You weren't saying that last night, you naughty little minx," he growled, winking knowingly. "In fact, I thought you were enjoying our little rendevous."

Even though it was just the two of them, Fat Amy felt a blush spread across her cheeks. He did have a point there. But how could she not argue? That man's tongue was legend!

Smiling at her reaction, Bumper pulled the covers over their bodies and spooned her from behind, switching on the television as he did so. "Wanna marathon Breaking Bad?" he mumbled into her ear. "We could order pizza for breakfast?"

Fat Amy paused as she considered it. Breaking Bad and pizza did sound good, but so did making out like a couple of high schoolers without a care in the world; their tongues battling for dominance as the salty heat of their skin rubbed against one another in a mix of pain and pleasure, only to finally orgasm in sync with each other with joyous cries and expletives breaking the silence of the night.

"Why not we just spend a lazy day in bed with food and watching movies and then take it from there?" Amy suggested, closing her eyes as Bumper's fingers tickled the back of her neck

"We could," Bumper mused, side eyeing her. "Or we could do a little bumpty bump? You wanna little bumpty bump with the Bump meister? Hmm? Yeah?"

"Bumper...gerroff!" she laughed, shoving him off her chest. "If I want a little...bumpty bump, as you call it, then I would have said," she stated matter of factly."I don't want to get out of bed," she mumbled, wrapping the blanket around her and falling off the bed with a heavy thump. "I'm a silk worm!" she laughed as she attempted to stand up, despite being cocooned.

"Of course you are," Bumper said dryly, smirking a little. He secretly found that over adorable and it took every ounce of strength not to pull her back on the bed and hug her tightly.

* * *

"Hey, babe," Jesse greeted as he came into the kitchen, undoing the wedgie that formed in his lounge pants overnight. "Nice sleep?" he asked, kissing Beca's temple.

"No," Beca stated, taking a sip of much needed coffee. "Bumper and Amy were fucking all night. And I could hear them. I don't think they know just how thin the walls are in this place."

"Yeah well. You should have seen Bumper after Amy turned him down, he was crying and shouting at everyone to leave him alone because he was SO over Amy."

Beca raised an amused eyebrow. "Really? Amy came back here and tried to give me some much needed butt confidence."

Jesse was about to speak, before being cut off by Amy hopping into the kitchen, still cocooned in the blanket. "Alright guys?" she asked before falling over with a small shriek.

"I'm okay!" she shouted, her voice muffled by face and blanket.

"Of course you are," Bumper grinned, stepping over the lump to get to the table where Beca and Jesse were sat."Alright, guys! What seems to be up today?"

Beca gave him a look of pure evil, before going over to help Amy, who was still lying face down and by the looks of things, was struggling to breathe. "Thanks, I was sweating more than a prostitute at a convent," Fat Amy panted before hopping back to her room.

* * *

Emily started as she entered her room and saw Benji lying on the bed. "What're you doing here?" she asked, a tiny bit freaked out as to how he got there.

"Oh uh, Jesse let me in," he mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck. "I just thought it would be cool to spend some time with each other, get to know one another a bit?"

"Yeah okay um...I'm sorry, I just wow. Benji look listen, you're really sweet and everything but..could you just get out of my room? I'm a little freaked out now."

"Oh wow! I'm so sorry, I'll, I'll make up for it," he stumbled, yelling as he fell off the bed.

"Holy shit! Are you alright?" Emily squealed, rushing over to where Benji was lying.

"Yeah...I'm cool," he mumbled, wincing as he felt a lump start to appear. "Ouch!"

"Oh, let me see the damage," Emily cooed, her slim hands deftly working around his head. "I've taken a first aid course so I should be good at this sorta thing."

"Why didn't you go to medical school, then?" Benji asked sluggishly. "I mean if you took a course on it.."

"Because I wanted to be part of the Bellas. My mom was one and so was my grandma, so it only figured that I carry on the tradition. Plus it's away from home so...hold still!" she ordered,placing a cold make up flannel on his head.

"There, that should be okay for now. If you experience any nausea or sickness then don't blame me and go see the nurse or something."

"I'll remember that," Benji grinned, nodding in understanding. "Thanks."

Emily smiled. "You're welcome. Now will you please get off my bed?"


	6. You'll never take me alive!

**He - llo people! How ya doin'? Well, as you already may know, we are finally at the end of our college education! This time next Thursday, we would have finished college for good and spend all summer making preparations for university! Which basically means staying at home all summer until August where we have a day at Ikea and a day at Meadowhall and possibly seeing our Grandma. Yeah, totally riveting. At least we have Alton Towers on Friday. There's going to be selfies, screaming and a shit tonne of sugar. We've also gathered what type of people there'll be. There'll be the one who wins the giant soft toy, the one who hardly packed anything as well as the one who thought it was a trip to Milan as opposed to a fucking theme park. Peace Out! TG101 :-D x**

Fat Amy stared at the stick in her hands. It was blue as in ocean blue as in Belle from Beauty and the Beast blue as in...pregnancy blue. Biting her lip, she didn't know how she'd tell Bumper. How could she when they'd barely been married? Shaking her head, she chucked the plastic to one side and went over to wash her hands.

How could she have been so stupid as to not recognise the signs? The boob tenderness, the sickness, the fact that her period was nine days...oh. That explained it.

Lifting her head, she heard Bumper whistle as he made himself a cup of coffee, the smell of the bitter substance making her nauseous, despite being all the way in the kitchen. "Amy, want coffee?" Bumper called the sound echoing throughout the apartment.

"I'm good!" she responded, resisting the urge not to throw up. As bile rose in her throat, she quickly lifted the lid of the toilet and vomited, the remnants of last night's dinner splashing in the bowl.

"Amy?" Bumper asked, realising his wife was throwing up. "Shit, are you okay?" It was then he noticed the stick on the windowsill. "Ames, what's this?"

"What does it look like turdburger?" she threw back, coughing up more of the bile. "You should know."

Okay, this wasn't the ideal way of telling him, but he was the one who brought it up, not her."You're pregnant," he breathed, staring at it the same way she did minutes before. "Holy shit, how did this happen?"

Fat Amy stared at him like he had just developed three heads. "You really don't know how babies are made?"

"Of course I do!" Bumper argued back indignantly, turning a slight shade of pink.

* * *

 _"Amy..." Bumper sighed, rutting his hips to hit the spot within her body that made her see stars, causing her to gasp. "Fuck, you're sexy. I can't believe we're married and...oh fuck."_

 _"Bumper...I fuckin' love you you know that...I..love..you so freakin' much...more than food more than sleep...oh, Bumpeeeer..."_

 _As they grew closer to climax, both of them felt an almost animalistic urge take over, rutting and grunting until they were just a mess of flesh, muscle and sweat._

 _Finally, after what seemed like for ever, an explosion of pleasure took over their bodies, reverting them to nothing more than long strands of nerves protected by skin._

 _"Holy...that was amazing," Amy purred, her heart pounding as she began kissing her husband's chin, laughing as she began to catch her breath. "Wow..."_

 _"Knew you couldn't resist," Bumper grinned, albeit out of breath as was she. "No one can resist bumpty bump. Not even you."_

 _"I love you," she smiled, closing her eyes, her breathing becoming ragged as she fell into a slumber._

* * *

"Fat Amy?" the nurse called, looking at her notes. That name can't be right, surely.

Sure enough, a large woman stood up, smiling nervously. Judging by her demeanour and the guy shuffling behind her, she guessed pregnancy troubles. "Hi, I'm Nurse Gabriel, what can I do you for today?" the nurse asked as they entered the consultant room.

Amy looked at Bumper nervously, who squeezed her hand reassuringly. "Go on, it's okay," he whispered, kissing her knuckles.

"Okay, so I took a pregnancy test at home and it's come up positive, but I know they can be unreliable so I wanted to be sure?"

Nurse Gabriel nodded. "Understandable. I'll ask you a couple of questions before we make sure and that'll be in the form of a blood test, is that alright?"

Bumper felt Amy tense up and he sighed. Amy fucking hated needles, any needles, especially injections. Giving his wife a smile, he felt her relax, but only slightly. "Um...I'm not the best when it comes to needles," she mumbled, feeling herself shake a little.

"That's okay, not everyone is. Unfortunately, it does take several days for the bloods to get back from the lab, so I'll need to see you again on Thursday, is that okay?"

"I guess so," Amy mumbled, looking at the floor. "Okay then, do what you need to do."

* * *

"...right, that's the interrogation sorted. Now, we need to go on to the blood sample."

As the nurse began prepping the needle, Amy felt herself become panicked and quickly made a dash for the door. "You'll never take me alive!" she yelled as she ran down the corridor, before turning a corner and running out of sight.

"Sorry," Bumper mumbled apologetically. "She has a thing with needles."

* * *

"I'm sorry Bumper," Amy said as he climbed into bed, interlinking her hands with his. "I'm just freaked out by needles, even little ones. Hell, I got nightmares when I watched Sleeping Beauty for the first time since I was eight."

Bumper chuckled, kissing her forehead thoughtfully. "You know, I'm terrified of donkeys thanks to Pinocchio. When I was seven, my cousin said if I was naughty I'd be turned into a donkey and I believed him. Ever since then I thought that donkeys I saw were boys and I was so scared I've been frightened ever since."

Amy looked at Bumper sceptically, shaking her head. What the fuck was this guy even on about?"At least the nurse was understanding," she mumbled, her weight sinking into the mattress as she rolled onto her side, being careful of her belly.

"That is very true," Bumper quipped, pointing a finger."She could have said she wasn't going to look after an Australian looney but she said 'fuck it' and made sure that you were comfortable by allowing you to pee in a pot instead. She said it's a lot more common, anyway."

Amy smiled, putting her hand on her stomach. She was pregnant or possibly pregnant. Just the thought was enough to make her smile and go fuzzy. She was going to be responsible for a human being! A human being that she and Bumper had created out of love and nothing else. Well, love and semen.

But mainly love.


	7. Two's company, three's a crowd

**Hi guys! We are back from our day at Alton Towers and it went pretty much expected! Surviving a three hour bus journey full of obnoxious people? Check. People hardly packing anything and marvelling at our enormous backpacks? Check. Someone winning a giant teddy? Not check. That I was actually surprised about. So, what really went down? Well, our dear readers, allow us to tell you. A guy called Joe flashed his nipples at a potato van driver and also pissed in some trees next to the entrance, we encountered a hen do in the car park complete with the obligatory blow up man with matching appendage, we waved to people in on the sky rider only for them to do the wanker sign to us and stick their middle finger up, there was traffic police, a cute assistant in one of the shops and a pirate who obviously preferred sea dogs to fair maidens. Also, did anyone get our small reference to Anna Kendrick? It's a good film but personally, I (Charlotte) cannot stand the character of Little Red Riding Hood, but I think it's more the actress than the character. Other than that, the opening song has yet to leave my head. Peace Out! TG101 :-D x**

 _"Mother cannot guide you, now you're on your own..."_

Fat Amy frowned, looking at the screen and then back to Beca. "You do know that Cinderella looks exactly like you?" she asked Beca, who was currently digging through the ice cream tub perched on her stomach, with Luke squashed up by her side. "I mean the resemblance is uncanny."

"Y'know, I think I've seen her before," she responded back, her mouth full of ice cream. "Wasn't she in that other musical? That glee club winning nationals or something?"

The Australian woman shrugged, frowning yet again as the ice cream tub tipped over as one of the babies kicked. "You guys! What have we said about playing with food?"

"Really? They do that?"

Fat Amy nodded, grimacing as she shuffled upwards. "So, how long til you got before you go number two?"

"Three months. Well, that's when my due date is set. Whether or not it will appear then has yet to be seen," Beca responded, Luke back down on the floor so that she could lie back comfortably."I hate to say it, but it's actually a lot easier this time round. Not as much farting. What about you?"

"Two more weeks," Amy grimaced, placing her hand on her stomach. "I'm just scared is all. All I want is sex but Bumper doesn't want to harm the twins despite the fact there's no possibility of that happening," she sighed, grinning as she felt movement.

"I thought you were getting induced," Beca mused, keeping an eye on Luke, who was toddling towards a very unimpressed grey cat.

"I am," Amy shrugged. "On Tuesday. If it was just the one, then I wouldn't be due for another month but they said due to my size, it's safer now and reduces the risks of complications."

"There you are!" Jesse laughed, entering the lounge and picking up Luke who began screeching in protest. "Hey hey little man, calm down! I-" he frowned as he smelt something and proceeded to quickly snap the back of his son's jeans, recoiling as he did so. "Oh so THAT'S what stinks!"

Luke whined, crying as he tried to wiggle away from his father. "Mommy!" he whined, pouting. "I wan' Mommy!"

"I know you do kid, but you are in serious need of a change," Jesse cringed as he walked out with Luke under his arm. "You can see Mommy once your butt is clean. And don't try and do what you did last time, either."

"Why, what did he do last time?" Amy asked, frowning.

Beca rolled her eyes, making a disgusted sound. "Trust me, you don't wanna know."

"He come on, I'm Fat effin' Amy," the blonde emphasised, gently elbowing Beca. "I can handle anything," she added, smiling smugly.

Beca gave her one last look, before starting with a sigh. "He hid his diaper in his toy box and it wasn't discovered until a week ago."

"Ew," Amy grimaced, feeling herself pale. Okay, so maybe she wasn't as hard as she made out to her, that was the biggest thing about being pregnant; not being as independent as she used to be and allowing other people to do stuff for her.

She hated it even more now that Bumper had to help her with her socks like a five year old, otherwise she would spend at least ten minutes struggling and grunting, only for the turdburger to record it and put it up on Facebook for everyone to see and laugh at.

"Hey, hey, what is happening?" Bumper slurred, sitting next to the two pregnant women, making them both screw their noses in disgust.

"Fuck off Bumper, you stink," Fat Amy stated. "I don't see why you're drinking, Donald's bachelor party isn't til this evening."

"I know that. Jus' gettin' a few drinks in is all," Bumper said, giggling as he put his hand on Amy's stomach, feeling one of the babies give him a hard nudge.

Meanwhile, Emily, who up until then had been sitting in the corner observing everything, was now looking uncomfortable and an increasingly damp patch was spreading throughout her leggings. "Uh guys...is this normal? I'm n - not due for another eight weeks," she squeaked, tears silently splashing down her face.

Amy and Beca looked at each other before standing up, albeit slowly and with some difficulty, to help the young woman. "Right Emily, does it hurt?" Beca asked trying to keep Emily as calm as possible.

Emily nodded, scrunching up her eyes as she exhaled. "I've been feeling off all day, but I just thought it was because we had sex all night," she mumbled, biting her lip, a faint blush spreading. "I - I didn't mean for this to happen," she continued shakily, blinking back tears but failing. "Oh God. I've fucked up already and my kid isn't even born yet."

"Hey! Now that's not true!" Amy scolded, her eyes interlocking with Emily's as she squeezed her hands comfortingly. "Alright, where's nerd boy?"

"San Diego for the Comic Con. He's been looking forward to it all year."

"Well, he's going to have to unlook forward to it," Amy declared, holding her hand out to Beca, who gave handed over her mobile.

"No! Please don't!" Emily pleaded, supporting her stomach. "I'll be fine, honest."

"No you won't," Amy mumbled, looking for Benji in her contacts. "Us sisters got to look out for each other, which means he has to come back and support his girl instead of drooling over grown men in pony suits."

As she pressed dial, it took five rings before Amy heard Benji's voice on the other end.

 _"Hey Emmy babe, what's up?"_ he sang, his voice slightly muffled.

"Hey Benji, it's Amy here. Uh, you do know Emily is in labour, right?" Amy asked sweetly, keeping an eye on things. Amy heard a clatter and swearing as the phone dropped. As he picked it up, Amy heard more panting and what sounded like crying.

 _"No, she-she can't be! It's not due for another two months and...aw shit! Okay I'll be there ASAP. Right after I meet James Earl Jones. After that, I'll be on the first flight out."_

"Well?" Emily asked, looking up. "Is he coming?"

"He is, but he's in line to meet Mufasa RIP."

"Oh God," Emily groaned, closing her eyes as she stood up with Beca's help. "He'll be ages then."

"You don't know that," Beca soothed, keeping eye contact with Emily as they slowly made their way to the door.

"Beca, you do know this is Benji we're talking about?" Amy asked quizzically as she wrote a quick note to alert Jesse and Bumper of their whereabouts. "Plus he'll probably stop for photos and get more stuff."

* * *

Meanwhile in California, Benji was racing across the San Diego convention centre where there were loads of cosplayers and nerds milling about, having the time of their lives. He too would be joining them if it weren't for the baby deciding to come two months early. As much as he wanted to meet the man behind the Darth Vader voice, his child was more important.

His mind flashed back to when he and Emily were getting to know one another in college. She had been the prettiest girl he had seen and seeing as he wasn't the best with his words, he fluffed up every time he tried to talk which cost them the riff off in that guy's basement five years back.

"Scuse me, comin' through!" he yelled, dodging a group of Bronies, who were wielding plush ponies and fedoras. "I'm having a baby...I'm having a baby!" he whooped, rushing out of the center and hailing a taxi. "Airport please...baby on the way..."

* * *

Emily groaned as the familiar beep of the heart monitor motioned that a contraction was on its way. She had been in labour for ten hours and still no sign of Benji. Sighing, she switched her phone on and grinned at the screen saver, which was of her and Benji taking a silly selfie at Disneyland with Gaston scowling in the background.

"Knock knock," Abigal sang, bumping the door open with her hip. "I just came to see how things were progressing and whether or not the medicine has worked."

"That's fine," Emily mumbled, wincing as the IV line pulled as the nurse checked on it whilst muttering to herself. "Is my mom here yet?"

The nurse shook her head. "Not yet sweetie, there's been no sign of her or Benji. If there was, you would have known something by now."

Emily sighed, tears in her eyes, spilling down her cheeks. "I just need some support," she whispered, running her thumb over her Toothless plush which Benji got her for their first anniversary. "I didn't imagine it like this."

"I know love, but that just how things are. Let's make the best of a bad situation yeah?" Abigail comforted in her English accent.

Emily found herself nodding in agreement, albeit reluctantly.

"I guess."

* * *

 **Wow. We did it. We fucking did it. After eight years in the public education system, we can now say that TwinGleeks101 are off to University in September. We got the grades, we got the points, now we just need the places. Where will we be going? Charlotte is going to Edge Hill which is Manchester Liverpool area and Georgia is going to Edge Hill in Cambridge. What will we be doing? Charlotte is pursuing Film Studies in the hopes that she'll be a film critic or famous You Tube star and Georgia is doing Education And Childhood Studies so that she can become the next Miss Honey. It's been a long and bumpy road what with bullying, meltdowns, doubts of our choices, all that good stuff. All we can say is that we're so bloody tired and excited at the same time and roll on September!**

 **TG101 :-D x**


	8. Surprise, motherfucker!

**Hey there guys! We're off for the summer! Which means everything and nothing! You know when you have too much work to stay at home but not enough to go in? It's a bit like that really. So to quote One Erection, we're not going to 'go crazy, crazy, til we see the sun' nor are we 'gonna live while we're young' but rather plonk ourselves wherever a telly and internet is, take part in family excursions to Tesco's and pack. Charlotte's going to a party but that's not until August and I (Georgia) have got nothing.** **All our time of freaking out, being tired, snapping at people and each other is over. We're off to university :) As far as we know, we've avoided the dreaded clearance, touch wood, so that's a relief. Come September, I highly doubt there would be any updates, maybe at Christmas but take it with a pinch of salt. Also, does anyone get the reference to the doctor's name? Peace Out! TG101 :-D x**

"I'm telling you, they're the only things that fit!" Amy argued with Bumper who was struggling not to laugh. She looked a sight. A bright green t shirt adorned with 'Loki Charms' she got as a joke gift from Cynthia Rose last Christmas, tiger print leggings and yellow converse pumps; she looked as if a three year old chose her outfit.

"How did you get this big anyway? You only saw the nurse two weeks ago!" Bumper emphasised as they walked into the hospital together.

"I dunno. Maybe I'm further along than I thought," she mumbled with slight trepidation.

She knew. She alright. How could she have been so stupid? Bumper's family had 'em, her family had 'em and now, they were gonna have 'em.

Twins.

As they made their way down the winding corridors to the pre natal unit, Bumper felt a sense of excitement come over him. He was going to be a dad. Holy shit, he was going to be a dad. He couldn't help but grin as he saw a mother in a wheelchair followed by her husband and their baby. That was going to be him in less than nine months.

Sitting down in the chair, Amy couldn't help but feel nervous. What if it WAS twins? Would they be able to cope? Would Bumper leave her, would she end up breaking down emotionally, would she faint? Looking around, she could she she wasn't the youngest there, thank goodness, neither was she the oldest.

There appeared to be a young girl in her mid-teens who looked both terrified and upset at the same time, with a protruding bump from her Adventure Time tank top. As they made eye contact, Fat Amy gave the girl a small smile, which she reciprocated with a nod.

"Hayley Wilson?" a doctor called out, making the teenager sigh and stand up uncomfortably. "Right this way please," the doctor added kindly, motioning Hayley to follow her.

"I hope she's okay...she looks so young," Fat Amy mumbled, resting her head on Bumper's shoulder. Since finding out she was pregnant she had become more tactile with Bumper and would often find herself hugging him at random moments.

"She'll be okay. Just like you will." Bumper murmured kissing her temple."We'll go in there, get blood taken, have the scan and I'll pick up Mc Donald's on the way back, that sound good?"

Amy paled. "Did you say, blood test?" she whispered, shaking. "No. No way Bumper. There is no way I am going in there if blood is being taken. No way in earth..."

"Patricia Allen?"

* * *

It took twenty minutes to find Fat Amy, who was hiding out in the janitor's closet, trying to get away from the dreaded thoughts of the blood test.

"Oh, Amy," Bumper whispered, hugging her close and breathing in her scent. "You really don't want to go through this, huh?"

"No," Amy squeaked, shaking her head. "I mean, who wouldn't? I...I..I'm an idiot," she finally revealed, bursting into tears. "I don't like needles, I run away when a blood test is mentioned, I'm just a wuss," she pouted, sniffing a little.

"No! No, you're not a wuss," Bumper confidently reassured, rocking back and forth ever so slightly. "You're not a wuss, you just don't like blood tests is all."

"Which makes me a wuss," Amy mumbled, making Bumper laugh yet again. "It's not normal,but..." she sighed. "If it's for the sake of the baby then I might as well."

"Atta girl!" Bumper praised, clapping her on the back enthusiastically.

"Um, Bumper? Could you not do that? It kinda makes me feel sick," Amy admitted with a slight smile.

"Oh, sorry."

"Thank you."

* * *

"Ah good, you tracked her down," the doctor smiled warmly. "I was beginning to think we lost you for good."

Fat Amy laughed weakly, sitting on the pristine hospital bed. "Sorry, I just get a little uncomfortable around needles. I think it's because I was convinced my cousin was Pin Head after getting his ear pierced."

The doctor nodded in understanding before continuing. "Okay then, my name is Doctor De Vine, but you can call me Tracy if you want. It's all good. So Amy, what we're going to be doing today is just a general check up, which does include a few tests, but they're all essential to baby's health and well being."

Fat Amy nodded."Yeah, although I think there could be more than one? I know it sounds crazy, but both my husband and I have a history of 'em in the family," she mumbled, not once meeting the obstetrician's gaze. "I think it's got something to do with the fact that my Nana was cursed by an Aborigini."

Dr De Vine gave a laugh "I'll take your word for it. Right then, the first thing that needs to happen is a blood test and then a pelvic exam. Have you followed the instructions?" she asked with a raised eyebrow as she started to prepare the equipment.

"No food since last night," Fat Amy nodded. "Oh God, Bumper, I don't think I can do this," she squeaked, closing her eyes and holding out her arm ready for the blood test.

Bumper could feel Amy shaking as Doctor De Vine applied the tourniquet to her upper arm and swabbed it with alcohol, mumbling to herself as she did so.

"Okay Amy, you're going to feel a slight sting, but it will all be over with in a matter of seconds," she explained as the needle started to make its way to Amy's arm.

"Mmhm," Amy mumbled, her eyes squeezed shut.

She just wanted it over with and to be back in bed, where she could marathon Netflix and eat chocolate and ice cream and not feel bad for it. Come to think of it, some barbecue sauce wouldn't go amiss either.

"Is it done?" she asked tentatively, dreading the answer.

"All done," the doctor confirmed, sliding it out and applying a cotton ball to the puncture wound. "Well done!"

"Bumper...I don't feel good," Amy slurred, her head lolling about, trying to keep her eyes open. "I'ma...pass..." before she could complete the sentence, Amy had gone completely white, her eyes rolling up in her head.

"Oh, we got a fainter," Doctor De Vine mused, raising Amy's legs. "Don't worry too much, it's fairly common, especially after a blood test."

"What the fuck?" Amy muttered, blinking sluggishly as she started to come round. "Bumper? What happened?"

"You fainted," he laughed, pressing a cookie the doctor gave him into her hands. "Here, eat this. It'll make you feel better."

Amy gingerly took a bite of the treat, pulling a face as she started to chew.

Doctor De Vine laughed at her reaction. "I know. They're pretty disgusting right?. Don't blame me, I didn't order 'em."

"Sorry about that," Amy mumbled, already feeling a bit better. "I don't like needles."

"Don't worry, Amy, you're absolutely fine!" the doctor reassured, rubbing her shoulder with a gloved hand. "I can assure you, you're not the first person to faint after a blood test and you won't be the last," she explained, getting something out of the drawer.

"Alrighty then, the next part is the pelvic exam, which is rather uncomfortable, I'm afraid," she admitted with a slight shrug.

Amy's eyes widened as she saw what Doctor De Vine took out the drawer. "You're going to stick that up my junk?!" she asked, looking horrified.

Doctor De Vine nodded, pursing her lips. "Fraid so."

* * *

Fat Amy drew a long breath as she felt the damn contraption _finally_ leave her body.

"Everything looks good, nice shape, decent thickness, I'd say you're good to go," Doctor De Vine smiled, snapping off her gloves and washing her hands."I'll allow you to get changed back into your clothes and then we can see about the scan."

Once she got changed back into what she came with, Amy lay on the table again and held Bumper's hand. She could sense he was getting restless because he had started to hum tunelessly under his breath, much to her annoyance. "Hey, stop that," she mumbled, swatting his shoulder with her free hand.

"Right, sorry. Just...nervous about this whole baby thing," he said, trying to sound as nonchalont as possible.

"Alright, let's get this show on the road," the obstetrician sang, examining Amy's stomach, which had shrank considerably having lost eighty pounds the year before. "Everything seems good, no abnormalities as far as I can tell and judging by the measurements and answers you gave earlier, you're around the eleven week mark, which puts your due date mid to late August."

"So I'm going to be pregnant all summer?" Amy asked. As far as she was concerned, this appointment was going from bad to worse. First she ran away and passed out from a blood test, then she had a metal torture device which resembled a duck beak shoved into her body past the point of no return and now she was going to be pregnant most of the summer; something she was _not_ looking forward to.

"Well, it certainly looks like it," Doctor De Vine shrugged, smiling sympathetically. "I wouldn't worry too much though. Just keep your fluids up and try to keep cool. Now then, are you guys ready to see baby?"

Amy nodded, watching intently as the doctor took out a bottle of clear gel from a small fridge next to the monitor. As the goo was squirted onto her stomach, she felt a cold shiver course throughout her body.

"Sorry 'bout that," she mumbled, switching off the light, before moving the item which looked like a food scanner onto her stomach. Pressing a couple of buttons, she turned up the sound so that Bumper could hear the big booming beats of his wife's heart alongside two more.

"Hang on a sec, I thought there was only supposed to be one heartbeat?" Bumper asked, not catching on.

"There is. Usually," Doctor De Vine mused, casting a side glance at Amy, who was smiling unsurely.

"Well, congratulations you guys, looks like twins!"


End file.
